Tag Archives: no

What are the best things in the forest?

There are so many things in the forest. Some are terrifying (shadows, bees, loud sounds, the flat black rock). Some are horrible (deer across the river). Most, however, are terrific (napping, caves, trees, grass, the moon, the sky, rain, smells, creatures who are nice, dumpsters, abandoned campsites, fish, the river, leaves, sticks, logs, tree stumps, berries, sounds).

With so many wonderful things to experience and enjoy in the forest, I like to sometimes think about what some of the best things in the forest are. I decided to make a list of the best things the forest has to offer. I narrowed everything down to just five:

5: Water

Water is wonderful. You can drink it. You can soak your fur in it. You can swim in it. Fish live in it. You can feel its cool streams rushing through your individual hairs as you shake to dry after a nice dip.

Water is so refreshing. It makes you feel better when you feel tired. It can also make you drown. I once saw a raccoon floating in the river and when I asked the raccoon why it was floating and whether or not that was a fun thing to do it did not respond and its nose was in the water and when I realized what was happening I panicked and splashed and thrashed in the water and tried to run but I stumbled and fell in a deeper part of the river and I thought I would end up like the raccoon so I thrashed more and more and escaped.

4: Trees

Tall. Majestic. Wise. These are just a few words that you could use to describe the presence of trees in the forest. The forest is practically defined by the presence of trees, and you can learn so much from them.

Creatures live in trees. I once tried to live in a tree. I fell out, but that was not the tree’s fault. It was my fault for being too large for the tree branch I climbed, and when I landed, I did not see the raccoon who was beneath me. Was the raccoon like that before I fell? Did I cause how it ended up? I am so sorry, raccoon. Please forgive me.

3: The wind

The only thing that feels better running through your fur than water is the wind. It carries your spirit just as quickly as it carries the leaves and the debris of the forest. The wind cannot hurt anything. Nothing can be hurt by the wind. The wind is so very nice. Unless it could knock a raccoon out of a tree? Is that possible? Can the wind be that strong? No, of course not.

2: Sitting in a tree, protecting a raccoon you just met

This raccoon will be absolutely fine forever. I will sit in this tree for as long as I need to sit in this tree to make sure the wind does not affect this raccoon’s life in any manner. This raccoon will be safe.

1: This raccoon I just met

Please stop hissing at me. I am here to protect you. Please. Oh no, the wind. Please. No.

I am a bear.

If you would like to try being a bear, why not read some of the bear adventures available on this very site? 

For any questions or comments directed at Bear, feel free to write to him using this email: justasinglebear@gmail.com

You can also now use Tumblr to address questions to Bear. Also, you can find bear photos and such on Bear’s Instagram, and don’t forget to “like” Bear on the book of faces.

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What is the long, flat black rock and why is it so scary?

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If you travel in the forest in one direction for a long time, eventually you will run into the long, flat black rock. The long, flat black rock is a rock. It is long and flat. It is also very black. It goes on forever it seems. You can look the direction the long, flat black rock is laid out and it keeps going until it becomes the sky.

It has yellow stripes. Sometimes the yellow stripes are long and continuous like the rock, but other times they break apart and are more like yellow dashes. Sometimes there are white stripes on either edge of the long, flat black rock. Sometimes there are not.

This rock is a mystery to me, and it always has been. I visit the rock every once in awhile (and usually by complete accident), and whenever I do, I try to investigate it. I have learned a lot about the rock, though I am sure that there is much more to discover.

It gets hot very easily, particularly during the summer. It gets so hot, in fact, that it becomes nearly impossible to walk on the long, flat black rock without burning your paws.

It does not taste like most rocks.

I know because I licked it.

And I have also tasted many rocks.

Probably the most disconcerting thing about the long, flat black rock is that it is often the site of many dead creatures from the forest. Recently, I came across the long, flat black rock only to find a opossum laying out on top of it. I asked the opossum why it was using the long, flat black rock as a bed, to which it responded with silence. I asked why it was being so silent, to which it responded with more silence. Finally, I approached the opossum (which was strange because most opossums ran from me upon sight), and I got close enough to realize why the opossum was being so antisocial.

It was flat.

As flat as the long, flat black rock.

Its tiny teeth were ground into the rock while its pale tongue was covered in blood and splayed across its own face.

Its belly was open.

The sight frightened me, so I ran as fast as I could away from the long, flat black rock and into the forest.

Then I ran back to the rock because I felt bad for the opossum, and I did not simply want to leave it on a rock that would surely bake in the sun, roasting the opossum with it.

When I arrived, I was startled again. This time by something that was not dead. It was fast and shiny and loud and hit the poor opossum again and screeched past me and screamed at me and I ran.

Again.

I ran into the forest, upset I could do nothing for the opossum.

I have not been back to the long, flat black rock since. I do not know if I want to.

I do not want to become a opossum.

I am a bear.

If you would like to try being a bear, why not read some of the bear adventures available on this very site? 

For any questions or comments directed at Bear, feel free to write to him using this email: justasinglebear@gmail.com

You can also now use Tumblr to address questions to Bear. Also, you can find bear photos and such on Bear’s Instagram, and don’t forget to “like” Bear on the book of faces.

 

My smells: are they for everyone or just me?

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I spent quite some time yesterday with my snout buried inside the crevices of fur between my claws. Past coming up for the occasional gulp of fresh air, I kept my face in the center of the smell consistently for a long time.

I liked it.

The smell, that is. I really liked it. The fur that is nestled there relaxes me and makes me feel good about myself, my fur, and my claws.

Rob (the squirrel), however, disagreed. Rob (the squirrel) approached me while I was enjoying the smells emitting from my feet, and he was quickly disturbed by the image. He aggressively asked me what I was doing and why I was doing it. I explained, and he asked if he could have a whiff as well. I did not see the harm in sharing such an intoxicating fragrance, so I let him smell the fur between my claws.

His eyes watered.

His face went sour.

He ran up a tree, nearly slamming his head into it as he recklessly escaped the odor of my feet.

I was hurt, honestly. Why did he find my foot smells so repulsive when I found them so delightful. I continued to smell my claw-fur for awhile before I decided to investigate why my smells might have upset Rob (the squirrel).

I had to question whether or not my nose was a good judge of a smell’s character. Just because I liked the smell of something, did that mean it was a universally beloved smell? Did that smell have any kind of popular opinion behind it? Did every creature experience smell in a unique manner?

I had to survey.

I first asked a raccoon in a dumpster I frequent if the fur between my claws smelled good. He was hesitant to try sniffing them, and, in the end, wound up biting them before running away. This was useful data for other questions I have about the forest (example: do raccoons like me?), but it did little in helping me understand my smell dilemma.

I decided to ask a longtime foe of mine for his opinion. I figured if the deer across the river had even the slightest interest in my smells, then those smells must be generally acceptable to all creatures who are not terrible, disgusting beasts and, therefore, Rob (the squirrel) was merely an odd exception.

The deer across the river told me my smells are as pointless as bears are. I then spent some time staring at him while sniffing the fur between my claws simply to spite him.

Finally, I tried testing my bear aromas on some mice who had slept under my belly that morning. Surely they found my belly fur smells enjoyable, so they must have something to say on the subject. They told me they were too consumed by the warmth of my belly fur to notice its smell. I offered them a chance to smell my  belly again just to get their opinions, but they slowly backed away from me in unison upon the suggestion.

I like my smells.

I know they might not be for everyone in the forest, but I do enjoy them. Perhaps we all have different ways of smelling, though, which should make me feel like I do not need the approval for my smells that I so desperately seek. But I still feel the need for that approval.

I hope you like my smells.

I am a bear.

If you would like to try being a bear, why not read some of the bear adventures available on this very site? 

For any questions or comments directed at Bear, feel free to write to him using this email: justasinglebear@gmail.com