Sweat
Heave
Pant
Cry
Badger pirates. They attack. You fight them off. All ten badger pirates. They are all named Thomas. They bite. They chew.
They
Eat
You roll around.
You try to escape.
Too many badgers.
Such a silly name.
For a badger.
You
Thomas
Thomases
Thomaseseseseseseseseseseessesesesese
Thom
They do not deserve a nickname
Thomas
You choose to…
Hello, I am a bear 
This is a hysterical blog idea. Annoying, but hysterical. I choose to hibernate.
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